It's time for you to get a BIG raise. You've put in the hard work, the long hours, the blood, sweat, and tears.

You want to make sure you get it.

So you pick up a copy of Chris Voss's "Never Split the Difference": the book about negotiation. You devour it. You learn all the tactics and strategies.

The fateful day comes. You stride confidently into your boss's office. The salary negotiation begins.

You try to put Chris's words into action. But it's awkward. Weird. It doesn't feel right. Like a pair of shorts that are too... short? Long? Something's off. This isn't right.

You walk out of the room, confused, and with only a 3% pay bump.

What happened?

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"Practice on things that don't matter." - Tim Ferriss

Developers do the opposite of what Tim advises: they practice on the thing that matters most.

Most developers fail to build soft skills because their process looks like this:

1. Read a book on a soft skill.
2. Never practice the lessons.
3. Try to use the lessons when they matter most.

This can lead to the idea that soft skills are "fixed" skills. Some people have them, some people don't.

But the issue is in how these soft skills are being practiced.

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"Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect." - Vince Lombardi

If you've read my other articles, you know I'm a huge proponent of training like an improviser. All non-scripted communication is improv, after all!

Consider how improvisers train their soft skills:

1. Design a practice around negotiation
2. Play informatively, failure is okay (there are no stakes)
3. Perform intuitively, they've got the muscle memory

That second point is where the money is. Being able to step into playing informatively and putting on the hat of a negotiator.

The best part?

Improv is a super supportive environment.

Let me tell you what an improv practice looks like:

Grown adults, laughing, saying things like:

• "I'm working on listening."
• "I'm gonna make bold decisions."
• "I wanna build on ideas with an open mind."

And then, everyone supports each other's goals.

Where else can you find such an explicit commitment to growing soft skills?

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tl'dr: Follow the 3 "Easy as P.I." steps:

P.I. #1: Practice Intentionally

• Set a focus for your practice (i.e. listening)
• Run exercises and games around it
• Study, get feedback, iterate

P.I. #2: Play Informatively

• Foster a nurturing, supportive environment
• Be confident in making bold choices
• Be willing to laugh at yourself

P.I. #3: Perform Intuitively

• You've put in the work.
• You've honed your skills.
• Show 'em what you're made of.

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👋 Hey, I'm Gus, developer, improviser, and game maker.

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